Chambers asks us if we have been through a "white funeral". Not everyone has experienced such a turning point. My mother, for instance, was (to all who knew her) the most Christ-like person we had ever known. She wasn't perfect, but her spirit truly reflected God's love. She regretted that she had never had a conversion moment, but she surely suffered for those she loved. I, on the other hand went from darkness to light. In a deep depression, I gave up, surrendered, and let go. I was disgusted with my own efforts so I turned it over to the One who claimed He could make a difference. He did and my true life began. I have known all about backsliding, hypocrisy, and denial since that death. It is always a short-lived defeat until the Commander of my soul is able to pull me back in to the peace and victory He gave me that night that turned into day. I live now for His glory and it is a joyful life indeed.
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Conversion moments always seem like an incredible thing for people who aren't in one or who "haven't had one". For those who experience them it isn't so grand. We know that feeling of Jesus asking for this "cup be taken away"... The peace is comfortable and secure, getting there, giving up to Christ can be incredibly painful... we get so that we can recognize the coming of "defeat" sometimes before it happens... we learn to throw ourselves back onto the path quickly before we feel the "sting of the nettles" of sin.
ReplyDeleteI think that sometimes our desire to feel the comfort and security of that Peace that passes all understanding in our daily walks makes us be uncomfortable people for the fervent non-believer. The deceiver especially knows that it is only through the ones that we love that he can get to us and make us want to take control of the Lord's work... knowing that we will really mess it up and once again will feel that desperation of failure... but since the ultimate liar is not omnipotent.... he can't figure out that we have the assurance that all is not lost when we step off the path for a few steps.