Intimate with Jesus

Oswald Cambers, MY UTMOST FOR HIS HIGHEST: 1/07/09
http://www.myutmost.org/ (Select Jan. 7)
" Jesus said to him, Have I been with you so long, and yet you have not known Me, Philip?' " (John 14 :9)

For most of my life I associated intimacy with a sexual/sensual worldly connotation. Today when I read My Utmost for His Highest, I was reminded of the period in my life when I finally figured out, like Philip did, Who It was walking there beside me (or often carrying me (Footprints in the Sand). It is very humbling to think of all the relationships I tried in order to fill that place that was created just for Him. My sister Ruth tried for years to teach me that, as my heart was broken over and over, searching for the love of my life. I was convinced that a committed Eros love was the answer. Of course I knew Jesus; I just wanted more than He could give me. (How ludicrous that sounds now!)

Once I realized I could only be whole and content with Christ as Lord of my life, I was able to form healthier relationships. I have been happily married now for twenty years to a wonderful man who supports my faith journey in every way he can. I am more successful at letting go of the control of the lives of those I love instead of trying to manipulate them to love me. Still, I allow myself to expect too much from others. When this happens and I am disappointed or hurt in any relationship, I am quickly reminded of the line from a familiar hymn, My Hope Is Built on Nothing Less: "I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly lean on Jesus' name." There is no substitution. When I get off track, it doesn't take me too long to remember that. Because I am such an extrovert, my moods are greatly affected by the people I love and trust the most. My volunteer work with Celebrate Recovery led me to become convicted of my addiction to the approval of others. The wonderful thing about being convicted by the Holy Spirit is that as soon as an awareness comes, Help is already on the way! The closer my walk, the fewer pits I fall into. My brother Ken calls Oswald Chambers "Torture Chambers" because his writings have helped me (and so many others) to stay focused on what is sometimes the painful Truth.....but is this Truth which is the Way, the Truth and the Life (John 14:6); God's way is the only way to a life of true joy. I thank Him without ceasing for that. My heart is so full with the Love that is poured out constantly for me, for all of us.